Humor

       While walking through his home town of WakaWakaWaka Ezekiel saw the library which he used to spend his school nights at, and decided to stop in for a visit. It was just as he remembered, it still had the broken door with the curious stains on it which opened to a cluttered desk that the librarian would sit at, but on this day, Ezekiels favorite librarian was not there, there was some barbaric man with disgusting glasses and a few spots on his face that he missed while shaving. because of his facial hair or lack there of, Ezekiel walked in and said "hey patches where is janice? she was the librarian here for a whi-" but he was interrupted by Patches saying "ohhhh really? She was the librarian? i had no clue that my mother was the librarian here."
Ezekiel replied with a smug tone "Well its a damn shame she let such a rude man squeeze his way out of her lady parts" Patches smiled and said "she had a c-section, ahaha"
"well, that's good, I needed to know that, no wonder she isn't here anymore, she didn't want to spend time with you anymore" patches then viciously stated "actually she died, shes dead, Janice died."
Ezekiel was saddened by that statement, and offered a form of apology " oh, oh man I'm sorry, but your still a rude man and well, I'm sorry about your mom patches it j-" Patches was displeased and raised his voice to say " you listen up real good right now, okay? I don't know where you got the idea that it was okay to give me a cute little nickname or act like you know my mommy, because you don't, shes my mommy not yours and she didn't even like you, i remember her saying that she hated that kid how spent his afternoons here, yeah you, your just a stupid little  man with a stupid nose and forehead, and no one reads books anymore so why are you here? Just leave get out of my library."
This statement enraged Ezekiel, because he actually had a romantic encounter with her one of those day in the library and never spoke of it because she was old then, like grandma old, and he did it, he wasn't proud of it, but he knew that patches was lying because of it, also patches didn't even know his name so there was no way that Janice talked badly about him. Then the thought came to his head, "this man, patches, has no idea that I had sex with his mother, there's no way he knows it might may be time he finds out"
He decided to speak, "okay patches you know what, your mom loved me, She really loved me, you know how i know? this one time i was sitting down doing my homework, right there at that table,then she came over to me and leaned on my shoulder and whispered 'come with m-"
"WOAHWOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH" said a very distant voice, well aged and feminine. Ezekiel looked over and saw an old lady hobbling over with her walker. "Janice?" he asked?
"yes it's me." she said. then Ezekiel looked at the patches then back to Janice, "is that your son?"
"yes"
"are you aware that he's a d**k?"
"yes, i raised him that way, but you cant tell him what you were about to tell him because well" she pulled him in closer to her and said "hes your son"
Ezekiel thought, and thought, and thought, then said " but he's older than me, and that isnt possible"
Janice stood for a minute and pondered. "oh yeah, I've been looking for his father for a while"
then Ezekiel said "so you just accuse random men of being the father of this man? how many of us where there?"
Janice then said "what year is it?"
Patches then said "mom, what is happening. im scared"
then Ezekiel pulled out an air horn and pressed it down which lead to the question "do you just carry that around?"
"well" said Ezekiel "I'm leaving"
as the door closed behind him on his way out patches looked at his mother and she looked back at him,then Janice said "we'll get you a dad one day"